04.16.07
movie review: “300″ 真他妈的肉麻！
This post has nothing to do with China whatsoever. I felt inclined to write it nonetheless.
I just finished watching the new hit movie 300. Before I tell you my honest opinions about the movie, let me just say that the special effects were spectacular. In case you have not seen it, 300 tells of the Battle of Thermopylae between Sparta and Persia. The basic structure of the movie is this. 5 minutes of hyper-masculine macho battle prep-talk – 15 minutes of stabbing, grunting, and decapitations – 5 more minutes of hyper-masculine macho battle prep-talk – 5 more minutes of stabbing, grunting, and decapitations, et cetera.
Here’s the formula for each fight scene. Warriors run at one another from both sides. As soon as one warrior approaches another, one lashes out his sword or a spear. The weapon connects, blood and body parts fly around in slow motion, and dismembered warrior falls to his death. The warrior who is still alive runs at another warrior, and the same result occurs. Combat deaths occur the rate of about one per three seconds when the camera is on. There are a few variations, such as when a rhino appeared out of nowhere and attacks, or when several hundred arrows come out of the sky in unison (this happened several times), but other than that, it was like watching a 2 hour game of Mortal Kombat.
In case you did not figure it out yet, I did not like this movie. In fact, it was so pathetically cliché that by the end, I was laughing out loud every time a decapitated head flew across the screen in slow motion. It was the gore of Passion of the Christ, mixed with the plot of a Chinese Kung Fu movie. I wish I could say that 300 was the worst movie I have ever seen, but unfortunately this is not the case. 300 is just another volume to the ever growing list of Hollywood movies which rely on “cool” rather than content to attract viewers.
300 is a perfect example of what you get with several hundred million dollars, a team of brilliant computer graphic designers, a script that could double as a high school play, and a team of actors who make Keanu Reeves look like Marlon Brando. Special effects and computer graphics today are so advanced, that they have rendered solid acting, well-written scripts, and real historical context obsolete. I watched 300 with the naïve assumption that I might actually learn something about ancient Sparta and Persia. Here is what I came away with.
The skies over Sparta are always full of black clouds with a sun constantly peaking through them.
Spartan warriors are scrupulously trained to all shout “Ahh oohh” in unison after certain vocal cues from their leader.
90% of Spartan communication is done in the form of monologue or speech.
Spartans say the word “Spartan” roughly once per sentence.
To become a Spartan soldier you must have a perfectly sculpted 6 pack.
Persians kings are black men with piercings all over their face.
A good movie will entertain. A great movie will leave you still thinking about it an hour after you have finished watching. 300 was neither. Special effects can be entertaining, but they do not take the place of an insightful, informative, and thought-provoking production. Special effects should be used to accentuate a movie, not be the basis which the entire film is based. Apparently, our society has devolved to the point that our entertainment has to be spoon fed to us by Hollywood through special effects and graphic violence. Thank God for books.
The Humanaught
said,
April 16, 2007 at 9:28 am
I’ve got 300 sitting by my DVD player, waiting for me to find time to watch it. I briefly saw a preview to it at the start of some other movie, but otherwise knew little about it until I started seeing it pop up at the local DVD haunts.
Despite watching hours of other movies/TV since buying it, I’ve just not made the time to watch it for just the reason you said. I am not overly sensitive to violent movies, and I like a good battle scene as much as the next guy… but a whole movie about it, with an ending you know is going to not go the way of the protagonists… doesn’t lend a lot of weight for real desire to watch.
I’ve been watching (the now cancelled) Rome, and I absolutely love it. Deep plots, tonnes of reference to Catholic roots, the end of an empire and modern issues. It’s great, good acting, realistic sets and a solid amount of blood and sex. Sounds like the producers of 300 should have taken some cues from there small-box cousins.
James Chiang
said,
April 16, 2007 at 2:57 pm
Is the movie 300 DVD bought from the street vendor who peddling DVDs from his bike in downtown Fuzhou? I praised excessively US movies on the comment of that topic.
I saw many Hollywood movies before. Amony them, there are many good movies. For example,The Shinning, 2001：Space Odyssey, etc. But in the past two years, I seldom watch movie because there’s too much special effects and the vacuity of the cotent.
Benjamin Ross
said,
April 16, 2007 at 3:50 pm
Actually, I watched it at my friend’s house, but I would be willing to wager several of my vital organs that it was purchased for no more than 7 kuai (roughly 80 cents).
Peter
said,
April 16, 2007 at 4:30 pm
I liked it. I admit that the story was thin, but the style is as I would want: comic book.
sin
said,
April 20, 2007 at 2:24 am
Besides books, we do also have the independant cinema
By the way, James, did you intentionally list 2 Stanley Kubrick films? In fact Kubrick worked for the most part outside the hollywood system. But yes, Hollywood did once produce a decent product. If you are interested in quality film nowadays, i suggest looking into independant cinema. It might not all be great, but it is sure to be more interesting then the cliche of a cliche of a cliche that hollywood makes today.
And anyone interested in film suggestions or film history feel free to email me and i will help you find films you will like, that will make you think; and hopefully broaden your appriciation as well.
Chris
said,
April 21, 2007 at 1:52 pm
A little late on commenting on this, but I just wanted to say that as bad comic adaptations go, 300 hundred could have been way worse. By the 10th “We are Spartans!” and the freedom isn’t free speech I was also pretty tired of the whole thing, but compared to a Catwomen, Ghostrider or the god-awful League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, it seems decent.
It’s been a while since I read the comic, but I remember enjoying it. 300 would have made a good film maybe if it was a short, that way you can cut out all the filler and just have straight action.
Oh well, back to re-watching Arrested Development…
Jon
said,
June 1, 2007 at 1:07 am
The thing about 300 looking like a comic book is because it is a comic book originally written by Frank Miller (who incidently was a key figure in bringing back Batman as a popular figure with his Dark Knight series. He is also the creator of the Sin City series of comic books.) The director of the movie version went to great pains to match the look of the comic book. Any attempt to see 300 as anything more than bringing life to a comic book story is giving it way more seriousness than it deserves.
[As as aside, a friend pointed out to me (and I can't confirm this) that some of the language is actually from ancient greek accounts at the time. He cited the exchange of "Our arrows will blot out the sun! Then we shall fight in the shade." as an example.]
Gareth
said,
August 24, 2007 at 3:17 am
Well Ben you seem to be an intelligent guy with a lot of strong views. I’m sorry that 300 wasn’t the history lesson you were looking for, but let’s face it if you want history with 100% accurate facts you should be down the library and read books. Or even do what I’m doing next month and go to Greece and visit these places yourself….. Movies will never replace true stories but that’s not what there made for. 300 was a remake of a comic book by Frank Miller. He mixed historical facts with fantasy for the big screen. He also has succeeded in altering the way people perceive how movies are made and produced.
Yes it does get a bit tiresome with everyone shouting oooahhh and Sparta this and Sparta that, but if you know your military history surrounding the Spartans you would know they were the most feared and professional army/society in ancient Greece. For the whole lives they were trained for one thing….TO FIGHT! So they probably were like that.
And as for them having extremely athletic body’s its 100% accurate! They Spartans prided themselves on their physical fitness and athletic ability’s. Have a look at a map and work out how far they would have marched to get to Thermopylae from Sparta and then fight hand to hand for three days to the last man.
Have you ever met a modern day US Marine or Ranger?? They wouldn’t even scratch a Spartan and trust me you would get sick at the amount of ooaaahhhhss and crap they shout.
I think the movie was a good mix of fantasy and reality but let’s not lose sight of what it was……A movie!!
Remember….THIS IS SPARTA! OOOAAAHHH
Worrior
said,
September 10, 2007 at 2:21 am
Hi Ben! I don’t think this movie is that bad, I saw it at the movie and like it. Yes I do agree the producers should of left off the slow motion effect and the white actor Rodrigo Santoro should not of depicted as a black Xerxes the Persian King. I believe the cast production did not wanted to copy the 1962 version of “The 300 Spartans” there for this is what we got.