03.04.07

Curious English…Fuzhou’s latest “Western” Restaurant Menu

Posted in Curious English, Food and Drink, Random Goofiness at 11:45 am by Benjamin Ross

There are many people in China who speak English quite well. There are also many who don’t. Unfortunately (or fortunately depending on your perspective) these are often the people charged with the daunting task of translating menus. Recently a new ‘Western’ style restaurant opened in downtown Fuzhou, and their menu is nothing short of hilarious. Let’s check it out…

Let’s begin with “the shiitake mushroom slippery chicken food.” Literally this means “mushroom slippery chicken rice,” or in more distinguishable terms, mushrooms, chicken, and rice. I still have no idea what “shiitake” is. (Thanks to everyone who wrote in to inform me that shiitike is in fact the correct name for a Japanese mushroom) The next item is actually Yangzhou fried rice, or as it’s known in the West “Yangchow fried rice.” “Yangzhou” is the name of a Chinese city, but the character 州 (zhou) by itself means “state.” For some reason the “authors” of the menu felt the need to directly translate the second character of Yangzhou, but not the first. They also changed “fried” to present tense and thus we get “Yang state fries rice.” I’ve never heard of the third dish, but I’m sure there is a better translation than “the potato pig’s feet young food.” The fourth item is another supposedly Western dish which I haven’t heard of. The characters are directly translated to “west juice beef food,” and below is it’s companion “west juice pork food.” The final item is probably the most ridiculous of the bunch. The first characters are “tai shi” which means “Taiwan style.” Most Chinese characters have multiple meanings, and the “tai” (台) from “Taiwan” also is a word for “table.” Apparently simply calling it “Taiwan style” wouldn’t cut it, so instead we are left with “Table model three cups of chickens food.” I would have left it at “Taiwan style chicken and rice” but that’s just me.

Next we have “The mixed sea food surface.” This mistake is obviously a mistranslation of the character 面 (mian) which in addition to “surface,” also means…ding dong…knock knock…anybody home? McFly?…NOODLES! The next one I’m a little unsure of the Chinese (any help?) but it certainly isn’t how I would normally write “Rice noodles with beef.” But to top it all off, we are left with “Taste to scold the seafood chum salmon young surface.” Sounds a bit threatening to me. Again, apparently in English “surface” and “noodles” are interchangeable.

For some odd reason, the translators of Chinese menus love to take names of dishes and transfigure them into statements in the present tense. This has me completely baffled, as in the Chinese language, there is no concept of tense at all. Go figure.

Here’s “The new aristocrat sandwich,” which is the literal translation for the Chinese characters which also mean……”new aristocrat sandwich.” I’m not sure exactly what this is supposed to imply, nor am I sure how many aristocrats enjoy sandwiches during their fine dining, but at least it’s better than the “Burns the beef sandwich.”

Now we have another ridiculous translation faux pas. The character 日(ri) means “sun.” It also means Japan (日本). The character 本 (ben) coincidentally is also my name in Chinese. Another meaning for 日is “day” or “date.” The second character on the menu item 式 (shi) means “style” or “type.” Hence we get the “Date type eel food,” in lieu of “Japanese style eel with rice.”

And if your eel isn’t keen on the “Date type eel food” why not give him some “Fresh river eel food.” Personally, I buy my eel food at the pet store. It’s much more economical that way, and I’m cheap. Maybe it’s an American thing. Below that we have one of my own personal favorite dishes, curry chicken with rice. Unfortunately, they didn’t even try to translate “curry,” instead they just threw in 咖 (ga) which is half of the Chinese name for “curry,” into the English definition. Oh, and by the way, in addition to eel food, they also have chicken food, pig food, and eggplant food.

For the third item, the translator must have known a thing or two about Western eating habits, which is probably why he simply transliterated “tian ji” rather than translating it into English, which of course would be “frog.”….and if you’re ordering frog, then allow me to recommend some “Fish fragrant eggplant food” to go along with it.

Second from the bottom we have “Steak pork food” yet the Chinese characters mean “BEEF steak rice.” Granted commissary management may not be the most demanding field of expertise, but come on, can’t you at least tell the difference between a cow and a fucking pig? If that wasn’t ambiguous enough, try the “Lucky example pig food (sweet hot sauce).”

Now that we’ve already found food fit for ourselves, our pigs, our chickens, our eels, and our eggplants, it’s time to order something for the little’uns…hence the “child wraping meal.” Is it just me though, or does “The child beefsteak” come across a little suspicious…especially in a country with overpopulation and problems with infanticide? And what about the “child chicken arranges?” What is a “child chicken” and what is he arranging? As for the item on the bottom, the Chinese characters really means Australian style children’s steak. “Sha Langqian” is not how any of those characters are pronounced, and I have no idea what it’s supposed to mean…maybe it’s better we don’t ask.

Here’s another option made specially for aristocrats. This time it’s the “New aristocrat greatly mixed platoon.” And here I was all this time thinking aristocrats only ate “The new aristocrat sandwich” and “Lucky example pig food.” Boy was I wrong!

And last, but certainly not least, we have my own personal favorite, the “Ding bone beefsteak.” I don’t think I even need to mention the explicit innuendo provided here. I’ll leave that to you.

So there you have it. Next time you come to Fuzhou, and want to try out some authentic Western food, give me a call, and I can take you out for some “table model three cups of chicken food” or some “Yang state fries rice.” It’s up to you. The choices are endless.

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19 Comments »

chriswaugh_bj said,

March 4, 2007 at 5:18 pm

‘Shiitake’ is a type of mushroom. Japanese word that just happens to have an unfortunate spelling, considering how commonly used in English it is. I’m not sure just what kind of mushroom it is, but it seems to be the only word translated correctly on that menu.

And is it just me, or does that Ding Bone steak look kinda raw? I mean, I don’t like my steak to be charcoal, but I do prefer it to have been subjected to a little more heat than room temperature.
Benjamin Ross said,

March 4, 2007 at 10:04 pm

Yeah, good point Chris…looks like a raw steak…which is interesting actually in China because rather than being raw the steaks here (in Fujian at least) are usually way too well done. They have a rating system of 1 to 10 with 10 being well done, and 1 being raw, but regardless of how you order it, the steaks are always well done. Usually I just tell them 里面要红色 (I want it red in the middle). Then they look at me like I’m crazy, and recommend a rating (it’s usually 5 or 6). I have to tell them I don’t care what number it is as long as it’s pink in the middle. This works about half of the time. Another thing I’ve noticed is that no matter whether I order the cheapest steak (usually called a “student steak” or “pepper steak”), the ribeye, or the ding bone steak, they all seem to be virtually indestinguishable, regardless of the significant price difference. I feel another blog entry in the works.
chriswaugh_bj said,

March 5, 2007 at 8:57 pm

Well, down in your part of the world, it’s probably all random slice of a water buffalo, so just be glad it’s not still breathing.

Don’t eat steak too often anymore, but I was at a Brazilian BBQ a couple of years ago and the meat was cooked probably just the way you’d appreciate it. And man was that delicious.
Benjamin Ross said,

March 5, 2007 at 9:28 pm

Chris-
I know exactly what you are referring to. They have a Brazilian BBQ here too. It’s called 巴西烤肉, and I think it might be a chain. It’s basically just an obnoxious amount of meat (the only way I can describe it is that it’s a meal fit for Homer Simpson.) that they bring to you on skewers. Everything tastes pretty much the same, but when I first tried the steak, my jaw dropped as I realized I was taking a bit into a real, bona fide steak. I think it’s something about the texture, but other Chinese steaks, just don’t taste like steaks (and I’m not even talking about the sauce). Last time I was at the Brazilian BBQ, I actually asked the waiter where the steaks came from, and he mentioned they bought them from a distributor in Shanghai. Good to know others are picking up on the ‘real’ steak in China.
Maria said,

March 6, 2007 at 9:42 am

Hi, ben.
Maria & Fenny, which name do you prefer to?
Maria said,

March 6, 2007 at 10:19 am

actually, i like “Maria”, but i need to change a new one, so, do you have any
good for recommendation?

tks!
Benjamin Ross said,

March 6, 2007 at 2:12 pm

Maria-
Do you have QQ? Let’s chat sometime and I can help you out.
-Ben
Benjamin Ross said,

March 7, 2007 at 3:53 am

Thanks to everyone who pointed out that actually, yes, shiitake is a type of Japanese, or should I say “date type” mushroom. I do, however, find it ironic they were able to accurate a word as obscure as “shiitake” yet they couldn’t properly translate the word “beef.”
Matt said,

March 7, 2007 at 4:36 pm

Shiitake is often found on the menus of the choicier restaurants in San Francisco and I sometimes wonder its popularity stems from its cool-sounding ethnic name rather than its taste. After all, all foodies know porcini mushrooms taste better
Danielle said,

March 18, 2007 at 2:08 am

Go to a five star hotel and you will get the real steak, because the cooks there are typically “western style”! (But probably not in Fuzhou. Shanghai is a much better choice.) The food in normal “western restaurants” in China is cooked in a chinese way, in order to cater for the chinese taste. Even the Pizza in Pizzahut tastes quite different from the one in Germany. But guess what—-the most chinese would DEFINITELY prefer the “chinese western food” to the real one if they had the choice to taste it!!!!!! I am not an exception either.
Passer by said,

April 17, 2007 at 11:02 pm

The Chinese word for Shiitake is “香菇”, a type of mushroom imported from China to Japan in ancient times. In Japanese shiitake is written in Chinese characters “椎茸”. Makes sense he?
Benjamin Ross said,

April 18, 2007 at 12:41 am

Passer-
Thanks for the info. I’ve often wondered what 香菇. I usually just translated it as “some other kind of mushroom,” as opposed to 蘑菇. As you can see, my knowledge of fungi is quite limited.
Passer by said,

April 18, 2007 at 6:17 pm

“As you can see, my knowledge of fungi is quite limited.” LOL

Although not a fungi expert myself, either, I believe “Chinese black mushroom” or “black forest mushroom” are also in use in English. Normally people will get it when I simply say “Chinese mushrooms”. The Japanese word shiitake was generally adopted as it is during the Japanese cuisine boom in the west, starting probably from California area. Not certain ’bout this one though.

By the way, interesting posts on this blog, a relaxing place to stop by after browsing through political/economic discusions for hours.
Anonymous said,

May 2, 2007 at 9:07 pm

I wonder what’s the chance of these translations being done by one of the online language tools.
Des said,

May 12, 2007 at 2:39 pm

My all time favorite menu mis-translation – I hope

Drum Roll…. “Pot Fried Chicken Sperm Ball” you just can’t make this stuff up….

http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4669/3714/1600/DSC01305.jpg
GangstaCHN said,

May 16, 2007 at 10:28 pm

I think I’m pretty damn sure this’s a machine-translated menu, Most likely some idiotic software named 东方快车 – one of my nerdy non-english-speaking colleagues uses it to translate his resume! Hope his career won’t go straight to hell.
laohudexiaogou said,

October 16, 2007 at 12:50 pm

omg those translations are horrible. especially those menus are from fuzhou, which suprise me . because many fujianese and cantonese people live overseas. haha, why their english is so bad.
James L. Goode said,

May 12, 2008 at 4:01 pm

This was one of the funniest things I’ve read in about a month. Thanks for the retroactive great laugh.
Marian Rosenberg said,

July 26, 2011 at 3:50 am

Of the examples you showed above 干炒牛河 “Rice Noodles with Beef” actually is translated correctly.

When I came to China in 2002, I didn’t even know how to say 你好 but I could say 干炒牛河 courtesy of the waitress at my favorite restaurant in Maryland.

Unfortunately, no one had a clue what I was saying in Hebei Province. Maybe because of my near total lack of Chinese or maybe because it’s an uncommon colloquial name for a southern dish.

The first time I ever saw 干炒牛河 on a menu was in Guangzhou sometime in 2004. I’ve since seen it twice on menus in Hong Kong, once in Hainan (I usually see 牛肉炒粉), and now on your blog.