Some of my friends are bank tellers and they worry every day about making such mistakes for fear of having to pay severely for their mistakes. Meanwhile the bank CEOs are laughing it up in luxury.

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I guess if I had the chance to send a last text message I would say this.

“I’m really sorry about this as I think it was an honest mistake. Normally, I would return the money and it is hard for me not to. But speaking frankly, too many people in China have cheated me out of money, including banks. Rules, regulations or common decency did not protect me then, and so this is the case now for you.

As you mentioned that as a customer if the same thing had happened to me, I could have returned and had things verified with a camera. In a similar spirit, I would like to ask the bank to please send me copies of all receipts for this interaction, a copy of the Banks Certificate of Business, a copy of your ID card, a copy of your employment contract, a tape of the videotaped interaction, a letter of testimonial from the bank manager about your request, your request in writing admitting your error, a copy of the written notification to the local public police bureau, a copy of the day’s transactions and accounting, plus a copy of the written policy and procedures for this kind of incident, a copy of the national and local regulations that apply to this situation, and maybe a few words from a nice Chinese saying. Upon receiving all of this required documentation, I want to advise you also that there is a Y50 transaction fee, plus a Y20 transportation fee, a Y15 communication fee, and Y20 hassle fee, but other than that I will gladly return to you the Y100, and this Y100 cannot be run thru the checker machine. Please note that you can deposit directly to my account the necessary Y5 fee. My policy is to always provide the highest quality customer response to bank needs!

Sincerely yours.”

….kinda long for a text message. ;p

(venting happily provided from a fellow receiver of fake bills, who does just really want to do the right thing, honestly!)

Anyway, I once went to the back to withdraw 20,000 rmb. When I got to the office i realised I had only one bundle (10,000 rmb) in my bag. I was convinced I had dropped 10,000 rmb somehow along the way and was completely gutted. What a waste, to simply throw away 10,000 rmb. I could have had quite a nice bender with that.

Imagine my delight when my colleague came over and told me the bank just called and said I’d left 10,000 rmb there!

I’m sure the bank puts up notices like that for the likes of men who would otherwise take advantage of the system by returning to the teller window and FALSELY demand for the missing 100 kuai the teller forgot to give or exchange the fake hundred that the teller mistakenly paid out. If you were ever unfortunate enough to have had the same situation happened to you but in honest, then you bear the burden of the vices in others… in otherwards…. “They ruined it for everyone else.” So I can understand a teller’s support in the “bank sign,” as she doesn’t know who to trust (so don’t trust anyone). I would hope tho that if you come into the bank everyday, and both you and the bank tellers have gotten to know each other, they would replace the 100 kuai based on their previous knowledge of you as an honest person, such that you especially are Ben.

They can’t be at fault for their mistreatment of you as they don’t know who to trust, but you are fully award of the deed you’ve done, so you should return the money to keep your integrity. THEN, of course, fume about it profusely for the next couple of days even though you have done the right thing, meditate the whole thing out of your system, and get back to life while your brain tucks in away as a distant memory.

Laozi saw a little bit of your blog. You are a piece of shit.
Laozi wants to give you some free advice.
You motherfucking whore thigh
You motherfucker who isn’t happy with anything
How come Laozi never got fake money from a Bank of China ATM. Laozi has never heard of fake money coming from an ATM eithr.
According to Laozi’s analysis
1. You are unlucky. You have dog shit luck. You come across things that nobody else has come across.
2. You’re bullshitting. Everything is bullshit. It’s all made up.
3. Other people think you’re especially stupid, so everybody is giving you fake money, otherwise there will be nobody else to give it to.
4. Fuck your mother
5. Fuck your girlfriend. How you make friends with her?
6. (no need to translate)
You get the fuck back to the US and fuck around.

Translation note: calling oneself Laozi is the Chinese way of saying “who’s your daddy?”