Comments on: Attack of the Chinese Phone Bomb

By: kewlchat

kewlchat — Thu, 19 Jul 2007 06:11:23 +0000

Jon said,

June 14, 2007 at 9:39 pm

…or you could just turn off your phone….

Thats what i was going to say , however i also understand your frustration, i personally get upset at the spamm callers that call my home phone.

By: LT

LT — Sun, 15 Jul 2007 06:30:50 +0000

I get this all the time. I do a few things to ‘adjust’ their behavior. Sometimes people take it as almost rude, other’s attribute it to my cheapness, other’s to being laowai, and …I dunno a multitude of attributions.

Anyway, almost for pretty much everyone, I never pick up the phone, unless I’ve just met them. But almost always I reply back quickly with a text message. Usually then people just text me. If it’s really urgent then they escalate to phoning.

About the loud talking on the cell phones. Somehow people in other parts of the world, for the most part, have come to realize that with your mouth millimeters from the phone, one doesn’t have to shout, even when the background noise level raises.

The shouting occurs because when one’s ear hears a lot of background noise, it naturally thinks the voice level needs to also pick up…if one was talking face to face. With the cell phone microphone so close, one just needs to talk closer to the mike, shouting actually distorts the voice.

If they would just have a national campaign to let people know, this kind of loud talking would decrease dramatically. IMO

By: Stephen Xu

Stephen Xu — Fri, 06 Jul 2007 04:52:23 +0000

I hate cell phones! And I hate the so-called “warm” Chinese friendship!
Last Friday night, when I was preparing for my GRE test, my cell phone rang. It was Liu Guixiong, one of my classmates in college. He said,“Hello, Honghai. Fangli’s wedding day is tomorrow. I can’t go to his wedding ceremony for I am going to XX. Could you please pay the bill for me tomorrow? ”(1、For relatives or friends of the young couple, it is customary to provide the groom or bride some money as a gift, usually 100RMB or 200RMB nowadays. 2、Fangli is one of my classmates too). Liu had done me some favors in the past, so I answered that I would do that for him.
Last Saturday noon, when I was attending Fangli’s wedding ceremony, my cell phone rang again. It was Zhang Lijuan, another classmate. She made a similar request to Liu’s, and the differences were: 1、 Compare to Liu’s polite request, she almost ordered me to do that. 2、 She said that she would not return the money to me until a long, long time later(How long? I didn’t know). I got angry and refused her request cause I didn’t own her anything.
About 6 PM this Tuesday afternoon, my cell phone rang again! It was Ye Dong, another classmate. He said,“Hi, Honghai. I have to write a study plan for visa application to Canada. Could you please come to my place to help me revise it?” I had to go to his office to help him. When I was about to start, the cell phone rang again!!! It was He Xugang, he asked me to study with him for the entire July cause he was preparing for GRE too! I said that I had no free time. This entire July, my god! And I got to Ye Dong’s office and tried to finish the study plan ASAP. When it was done, my cell phone rang again, and it was another classmate. He asked me if I had any disk availble, for he wanted to copy something. I refused him. And my cell phone rang again!!!!!!!!!!!!!It was Zhenhua, he said，“Honghai, how are you doing recently? I am in Shanghai now. And my application to a india software company was refused. The reason was my English wasn’t good enough. Could you provide me a study plan?” Oh, What am I? All-purpose machine?
Now, when I am alone, I turn off my phone, for I just want to be quiet.

By: Jeremy Yeh

Jeremy Yeh — Tue, 19 Jun 2007 13:27:02 +0000

yeah,we dont have voicemails here in china. i dunno why.
its really interestin to watch people usin voicemails in american movies.

By: KevinZheng

KevinZheng — Tue, 19 Jun 2007 12:59:40 +0000

Yeah! I hate those guys who always fuss me up by their phone bombs. It’s f**k up they don’t let me enjoy my own time. Sometimes I can’t bear my cell phone keeping ringing, so I just turn it off. And then, guess what, my home phone keep ringing in stead…

By: Gordon

Gordon — Tue, 19 Jun 2007 05:17:07 +0000

Hi Ben, I just found your interesting blog from the plug in BW. Considering that telemarketers are probably the #1 pet peeve of Americans nowadays, there must be a real cultural disconnect if what you experienced is common in China.

My wife once had a boss who, if he wanted something from someone, would just call every 5 minutes until he got it, so I wouldn’t automatically think such phone “manners” are just friends-related.

Personally, I would agree that such incessant calling would be extremely annoying. Would it be perhaps the case that in Chinese culture, (blatantly) interrupting someone just isn’t considered rude?

By: Alan

Alan — Mon, 18 Jun 2007 15:58:45 +0000

Kevin S. I think Chinese frienship tends to be more possessive than Westerners’. My wife was like yours when we were dating. For us, it was 15 years ago when we were dating and cell phones weren’t popular for those of us who didn’t deal drugs. I oftentimes had to wait for her phone calls at home after work. One time I went out jogging and missed her call. Let’s just say she wasn’t very happy. Being possessive with friendship is definitely a distinctive Chinese thing. Constant calling is just a behavior of such possessiveness. On the other paw, possessiveness also leads to warm friendship if you like the friend. An American teacher who taught English in China for 2 years in the 90’s told me that he actually liked this type of “warm” Chinese friendship. He as an American feels that American friendship is too distant. A balance is needed for both cultures.

By: Kevin S.

Kevin S. — Mon, 18 Jun 2007 03:20:21 +0000

My wife (she’s Chinese) used to get so mad at me when we were dating if I didn’t respond immediately when she would call or text me on the mobile.

By: Alan

Alan — Mon, 18 Jun 2007 00:07:56 +0000

Ben, what’s your cell phone number? Just kidding.

I don’t think it’s an innate Chinese thing (culturally speaking) to keep on calling until the call is answered. However, I do think Chinese are more likely than Americans to keep on calling constantly. Basically, Chinese view their friends as personal and personable. They tend to feel friends won’t mind no matter what. I am Chinese from China who have lived in America for 20+ years. So I am bicultural and understand what you are going through. Trust me. Many years ago I decided to help some fellow newly arrived Chinese students. I had already graduated and had an 8-5 job, which meant I needed to go to bed and get up at the normal hours. One of the Chinese students whom I had befriended would call me at wee hours in the morning. I am not making this up. He would call 1:00 am from his lab and sometimes at 11:30 p.m. from his apartment to ask me if I would like to stop by to play pokers with other Chinese students. This type of phone calls kept coming for quite a while. Finally I had to explain to him that I had a job and needed enough sleep in order to get up early in the morning. That ended his phone calls altogether as well as our friendship. China has 1.3 billion folks. It’s not unlikely for you to find some people who has the phone habit you described.

Chinese folks can be very pesky when coming to respecting others’ personal space. Again not all Chinese are like that (yours truly for example). I have 2 young kids. Sometimes some of our Chinese friends would decide on a Saturday afternoon that they would call us to let us know that they are stopping by with their kids to have a play date with ours. HAS IT EVER ocurred to them that we might not want to have a play date on such a short notice? What about askinbg us if we have something more important to do? My wife, being a nice non-confrontational Chinese from ever so polite Taiwan who cares so much about saving face usually would say yes to such requests. That actually has put a strain on our marriage and family life. Usually families who have no respect for other’s personal space tend to have no boundaries with their kids. Honestly I don’t want my kids to play with theirs all the time. So I am the one in our family who would jump up to answer the phone when it rings at certain hours on weekends. I just blatantly tell them NO when our personal space is being trampled. My advice to you is to tell your Chinese friends not to call you more than once if they need to and do not call at certain hours when you need to be quiet.

Please tell them, tell them, tell them, tell them, tell them… They won’t get it unless you tell them.

By: zuraffo

zuraffo — Sat, 16 Jun 2007 10:46:27 +0000

The accepted norm here in singapore is if you can’t get someone on the first try, leave a message and try later.

Funny how chinese too behave differently in different societal context.